This week we learnt mainly about interpersonal communication which is basically communication between individuals. Like Miss Hui said during lecture today, this is based solely on personal experiences and one cannot possibly evaluate the usage of interpersonal communication in films or movies.
I would like to concentrate on one main process of relationships between individuals; relational formation and developement.
Relational formation and development
1.) Physical Apperance:
Personally I feel that for friends this is not a very important factor as what I normally look for in friends are similar ideas that we might share instead of whether that particular person is attractive or not. However when it comes to choosing a significant other, for me, physical appearance does play quite a huge role. I mean my special companion must at least be presentable-looking with a sense of style and fashion. This is mainly because he is someone I am going to introduce to my family members. As a result, the opinions of my family members will be very much be dependent on the first impressions that he creates, hence physical appearance does play an important role for me.
2.) Similarity:
This is a very big aspect for me. Regardless of friends or my significant other, there must be a common frequency between me and that particular person. Like what my mother would say, ” a relationship won’t work out unless both of you swim in the same direction”. However, again similarity like physical appearance is a perception. Even though ideas between two people might be very similar, they are subjective as in the way the ideas are similar might be very different. For example, even though my friend and I share the same aspect of needing to take a vacation, we might have different ideas on where and how we want to have a vacation. Therefore, I feel that this should not be given much importance as people in relationships will learn to adapt to their friends or significant others by trying to flow in the same frequency as them.
3) Dissimilarity- Personally I feel that this theory is not applicable. It states that people tend to form relationships with others who are not similar or not part of a conformity. However, I believe that this relationship will only last for a short while. When both parties realise that there is nothing similar between both of them, they might just lose out and end the relationship. I am a person who looks for a long-term relationship, be it friends or anyone, therefore I do not look for people who are dissimilar to me.
4.) Exchange- This is another theory that I disagree with. It states that people are merely in a relationship that is considered as a transaction based on costs and benefits. On the contrary, I feel that people might just do something because they might like doing it out of the goodness of their heart. For example, if a boy surprises his girlfriend on valentines’ day by coming to her house, giving her a present and leaving immediately after, does this mean that he still expects something out of her or the relationship they are in? Defining a relationship based on costs and rewards is very degrading of the relationship itself and I feel that two individuals can be in a relationship without expecting anything from either one.
These are the 4 aspects of relational formation and development that I have certain opinions of. I believe these 4 are the most important aspects that an individual looks for before engaging in a conversation with another individual to create a relationship.
Those of you who disagree, please feel free to drop me some comments.. 
Hi Sham! ((:
i can see why you would disagree with relationships formed based on exchange. Such relationships, i would say, are very superficial. It is true that the reality is that people will flock to you when they need you or have a use for you, however you won’t see them sticking around during the other times. Such relationships are hardly substantial, and in no way fulfilling.
But I guess that they are, in a way, essential, for example being put together to work on a project in school or at work.
However, in my opinion, people who actually hit it off and form deeper friendship bonds would fare better in this “exchange” than those who maintain the relationship purely for the exchange of benefits. If you have deeper bonds with that person, chances are you will be more liberal in your speech and generous in your ideas as you are more comfortable with talking to that person, and more willing to share as you care for the individual. But if your relationship with the person is superficial, you will tend to hold back and be more reserved, and also want to keep some of your ideas to yourself and not share so as to keep a competitive edge over the other.
Thus, i think deeper friendships are much more important and necessary, as true friends will stay with you both through the good and the bad, as clichéd as that might sound. Which is why i am so glad i have you for a friend Sham! Hehe.
Love you! ((:
i agree that how u look like doesn’t really matter when it comes to friendship. I don’t really care how my friends look like, i just enjoy their company.